Thursday, February 5, 2009

These pants aren't gonna fit today.

Today has been one of those days. Let's just say I'm thankful for stretchy pants and 800mg Motrins that were prescribed for my sprained ankle a few weeks ago.

It's also been a day of introspection, as stretchy-pants-and-Motrin days tend to be.

We'd like to have another baby. But babies don't come to us easily, which means that I spend about half of my life wondering if I am pregnant and the other half split between bemoaning the fact that I'm not pregnant and trying to get pregnant.

Which leaves little time for physical fitness, don't you agree? I don't want to start a fitness program if I am pregnant (which I never am, BTW. Well, I was once.) I'm not in the mood to start a fitness program in the week that I'm confirmed un-pregnant, and there are more important things on the agenda in the week that I'm trying to become pregnant. And so it goes.

But something's got to give.

This morning as I was "checking my stuff," I read a blog post from my cousin's wife, Roxanne, who is inspirational in countless ways. Seriously. You should meet her. On her blog she announced she was preparing for two marathons this summer and asked if anyone would like to join her. I commented that I have dreams of being a marathon runner, but I am so far from being able to do it. She came to my blog and left a comment (because she's nice like that) that she was sure I could be ready for a 5k in time, and that if I was serious, she would help me get there.

So I'm taking her up on it. In fact, I immediately went looking for my running shoes.

Not in the coat closet. Not in my bedroom closet. This is a bad sign. Has it really been that long?

I search the garage which is full of boxes we haven't yet unpacked from our move. There's one running shoe. I'm gonna need two. The search continues. I find my bathroom scale. Do I dare? I dare. It's bad news.

I find a pair of shoes that will do. I pack my son on my hip and with a "Curious George" DVD in hand, we head downstairs.

I plug in the treadmill, awakening it from a very long coma. It works! I try to adjust the incline. And now the treadmill doesn't work anymore. I cuss at it. (Not a real swear word. Those aren't allowed. Just something that would make Dave ask me "What are you cussing about?" To which I would respond, "I'm not cussing! Why the heck do you always have to ask me that?!")

So I give up on the treadmill and give the elliptical a reason to exist for 10 minutes. So I did something at least. Something that will get me just a little bit closer to being the hottie that I'm supposed to be.

I have a 10-year high school reunion coming up. I don't want to be fat for that. Dave doesn't understand why I care. He doesn't understand why I would want to go to my reunion in the first place (we had very different high school experiences), and he especially doesn't understand why I would care about impressing anybody.

But here's the thing. I don't care about impressing anyone. The huge popularity of this blog (check out my 9 followers!) and my smokin' hot husband are all I need to impress anyone.

It's just that... I'd rather not know that everyone's first thought at seeing me is "She's gained weight." I'd like to spare my own feelings from knowing that shame a couple hundred times in one night. Am I too self conscious? Maybe. Do I care too much what other people think? Definitely.

So no more banana cookies for breakfast. And when I'm finally lookin' fly, I'm going to try to be a JCPenney model.


Kristina P. said...

Good luck with the marathon! Just thinking about it makes me sleepy.

Annie said...

Oh, do I feel your pain. Especially with all these cute little military wives skipping around in work out outfits.

I bought 30 Day Shred and did it for two days before the weekend hit and havn't gotten back to it yet. There are so many things working against this workout thing like sweat, pain, time, and little fingers that are too curious for their own good.

Good luck!

Dick and Jacque said...

Just think, you can be a good example for your mama. (Sorry it hasn't worked the other way around.)

jen said...

I know that I feel 100% better when I'm exercising. Even if it's just walking on your treadmill during Oprah - it's something and doing something will help you start seeing results. You are beautiful, you have a wonderful family and you are a fabulous friend. Most people I know from high school aren't the same and I think that's a good thing! We're supposed to grow and change in 10 years. So you've got a few extra pounds - anyone that notices that first thing doesn't care about you anyway!

PS - LOVE the 30 Day Shred. It rocks my world.

Rachel said...

Been there. Know how your feeling. Counting down to my 10 year next year and calculating exactly what must be done for me to show up in size 7 (at least) jeans. Good luck on the marathon.

wonder woman said...

Awesome post. I love your voice. (Sorry if I'm bringing back painful high school memories. But I'll bet English wasn't painful.)

Good for you. You can do it. You CAN!! I'm jealous that you have a treadmill (even if it doesn't work) and an elliptical. I feel ya on the whole pregnancy thing. But......just think about getting in shape. You know it'll be easier to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy if you're fit. So make it happen. Make it your goal to run a 5K before you get pregnant!!

You are beautiful, girl. You have a beautiful family and you are smart and funny. And I'm not just kissing up.

I want to lose weight before my reunion, too.

Diana said...

I love it. And I know exactly how you feel. Luckily, when I lost the equivalent of an Olsen twin in weight, I had my softball team to exercise along with. Really... that is the key. Get a buddy. And that buddy could be me, your marathon training friend... or your dog that I'm going to train to love running. You just wait. I'm like you, I'd like to run a marathon or triathlon this summer, but me and Tyson may start trying to have another one here soon and what's the point in training for a BIG race when I may not be able to compete. This pregnancy thing is for the birds... speaking of birds, what happened to that stork? That was genius.

Rebecca and Nick said...

I am on the same boat as you. As in all-of-the-above on your blog.

Cassandra said...

You're so funny. Seriously, you are a really good writer! I enjoyed reading your blog:)

Roxanne said...

So I am so glad that you are on board. I think that if anything else you will feel better. It has taken me 6 months (all of Sophies life) to get motivated again. It can be really hard. Just keed on pushing through.

You can totally do it! I don't think you will need to register for the 5K in fear that it will sell out but I always register and pay so that there is no way of getting out of it. I say REGISTER!

BTW your are a crack up. I love your style of writing. Thanks for all the props you are too generous.

Anonymous said...

I loved and related to this post but I'm also going to be the lone dissenting voice and suggest you stick with the elliptical but skip the 5k, and I'm basing this on one anecdote: my sister had a friend who had trouble getting pregnant and her fertility doc suggested she stop running. He said he couldn't back the suggestion up with science but that intuitively the high-impact effects of running might make it hard for a baby to settle in. She took his advice and did become pregnant.

Obviously this is just one anecdote and not a clinical trial, but I'm a busybody sometimes and thought it worth sharing, for whatever it's worth to you.

Elissa said...

Hey Emily,

I started working out again for real (probably since high school) in June. Get this training for a 5k. The keys I found was a friend who was waiting on me to show up in he morning, and making the workout time my own. Jonathan had better not plan on going in to work early because that is my time, he has to be with the kids. It took a while but I ran my first 5K on Thanksgiving with a very slow 12 minute mile, but it was so rewarding. Now I miss it when I don't work out in the morning. Good luck, you can do it. Miss you.

Liz Brown said...

So I wrote a big long reply and the internet browser we were using, Opera, wouldn't post it. Anyways - long story short - I totally identify with you. Especially being pregnant. I know I'm suppose to gain weight, but it's still depressing when my thighs don't fit into my pants! The belly part is expected!

jennifer said...

I read your whole post word for world and all I have to say is your husband looks like Mark Walburg in the face. If you want intelligent insightful commentary don't distract me with Smokin Hot Husband Distractions.

Have a great week!

Anne Marie said...

You are hilarious! I love your writing. You are beautiful right now, girl! Love the "smokin' hot husband" pic on the side. You guys make a great couple.

Christa Jeanne said...

Ooooh, I feel your pain - my 10-year is creeping up next year, and I was just thinking this morning about how I gotta get on that whole fitness thing. Yikes.

Anyways, I highly recommend the "Couch to 5K" running plan - it's a great way to run 5K (3 miles) in six weeks. Well, unless you get sick, like I always seem to when I'm in a good fitness routine. Then I'm sedentary for a month and have to start from scratch. Bleck.

Good luck!!!

Christa Jeanne said...

PS: Link to the Couch to 5K plan: