Monday, June 22, 2009

If I was Miss America

First, let me tell you a little story. When I was 17 my best friend, Jessica, and I decided that we would compete in our local Miss Magic Valley Pageant, which was part of the Miss America organization. It's likely that, had we gone through with it, one of us would have eventually become Miss America. Highly likely.

But we didn't. We had priorities, and the pageant became less important when we found out it was being held on the same day that we could move into our apartment at Ricks College. We could have participated in the pageant and then moved in the next day, but we wanted to get there early to ensure we would share a bedroom.

We had chosen to live at the Colonial House, and in our mailed information we were told that check-in was no earlier than 2 p.m. on Saturday, July 10th, 1999. (This is where Dave will wonder why I have such a good memory of some things and such a bad memory of the things he wants me to remember.)  We decided we would get to Rexburg early and be ready to check in promptly at 2:00. 

When we got to Rexburg, around 1:00 or so, we were surprised to find that they had already checked everyone else into our 3-bedroom apartment. This meant that there were only 2 beds left, in separate bedrooms. We asked if someone would switch rooms so we could share a bedroom. We even showed them our matching bedspreads, but no one would budge. 

Brats. 

So I ended up sharing a bedroom that summer with Sara from California. She was nice enough. 

We gave up our chance to be beauty queens just so we could share a bedroom, and it backfired. But life went on. Sara moved out in the fall and Jessica moved in with me. Good thing, too, because later our roommates turned on us and we needed the refuge. 

Anyway, if I would have gone ahead with the pageant back then, my platform would have been to support music education in schools. That's something I still think is very important. 

However, if I was Miss America today I would FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT for infertility benefits. 

It frustrates me that people (like myself) who struggle with infertility, even with good insurance, don't get better benefits to make treatment more possible. I suppose those who decide what benefits to offer might not view infertility as an illness that needs to be treated, but why not?

Is my body not supposed to be able to function that way? Most people's bodies reproduce. If mine doesn't, which it is supposed to, why would that not be seen as something that should be covered as well as other health problems are covered?

I was lucky that I didn't have to have very much treatment before I was pregnant with my son. But we've been trying for a while again and it's not happening, so I've been looking into our benefits. We do have some benefits, but they're not great. So if we need extensive treatment this time around, much of it could be out of pocket. 

There's nothing wrong with having to save money for something that you want. But I just don't understand why infertility is not treated as the health issue that it is. 

8 comments:

Jacque said...

I'll support your cause. (But I don't really know how. I'll wear a ribbon if you want me to.) Since I struggled with this same problem, I have always been aware if those around me who would have had more children if they could have. It's not just childless couples that have this problem. Good luck Emily.

Kristina P. said...

I have a lot of friends in the same boat. I support you!

Debbie said...

Good idea for a platform!

*LaUrA* said...

well...I am in the same boat...as far as I know. I haven't ever gone to the doctor to make it official...but I just guessed since we go through the process of procreation but nothing seems to be created..ha..often...we were successful once as you know:) So, what I am saying is I would totally support your platform!...gosh and sorry about your roomies! I think that is totally weird/rude that no one would move...I wouldn't want to be one of the two girls who did not move and know I had to share a room with one of you knowing that you didn't want to be there to begin with...so why didn't they just let you two have a room??! I don't get it at all!

Diana said...

After they saw your matching bedspreads? What?!? I think you consider a stronger word than brats. Nothing profane, but still.... stronger. ;)

As for your platform, I totally support it. In some ways, I wish people who could procreate with no problem had to go through the same background and character check as people who adopt do. But then can you imagine all the innocent children that would be left without families because the government saw the parents as unfit? I suppose I wouldn't want the government or the like deciding what exact credentials make you qualified to be a parent, but it does seem EXTREMELY unfair that some people hiccup and are pregnant when they clearly have NO BUSINESS creating life and yet others who would be the ideal parental figures are never given the chance. Did you know that at least 15% of the population has trouble with fertility? I thought that number wouldn't be as high, but it seems the older I get, the more I realize my friends and loved ones are struggling with becoming parents for the first or multiple time. Who knows, maybe one of my future kids I'll struggle with. That's common too.

So yes, short comment made long, I support your platform. :)

Rebecca and Nick said...

I seem to notice all the women and girls that are getting pregnant, while single, not wanting a baby, and my heart breaks for those who are trying so hard to have one. It's messed up. And infertility is definitely an issue that is not addressed enough. Good luck to you! I hope you can work this out.

p.s. just made the banana cookies today, and they were FABULOUS!

Anne Marie said...

I can totally understand where you're coming from on this issue. My sister did IVF a few years ago, and it was not cheap. Totally worth it for the cute, curly head top girl she got out of it. I am really hoping that things will work out in this department for you soon. You and your "mann" (is that German for husband?) are such kind people and have so much to offer more kids. Good luck!

Dixie & Markus said...

As a ex-Miss Magic Valley contestant, I can say that your platform would be very impressive to the judges and you'd go far! I would support you in your quest as well!
I truly hope that you and Dave can work this out! You're great parents and you make beautiful children.
Seriously, what was up with your roomies??? LAME!