Thursday, October 1, 2009

Getting catty

My subconscious is on a mission to alienate me from the rest of mankind.

Three examples:

  1. Yesterday I was playing Farkle on Facebook (because everything productive I could have been doing was done!.... er something). I used to always "sit" in the lobby and let someone choose me, because then I always got to go first, which put me at an advantage. What's the use of playing if you're not going to play to win... Am I right?! But too often that meant I was playing against men who got flirty in the chat box. And I'm taken by a man with smiley eyes. So lately I have been the one to choose someone to play against and I always choose women. Yesterday I clicked on a pretty girl about my age, and the first thing I wrote in the chat box was, "Ho." I meant to say, "Hi." I think she forgave me, until I kicked her butt in Farkle.
  2. Today a friend posted on Facebook that she had gallstones and was going to have to have surgery. I, of course, clicked the "like" button, because gallstones are fun, right?! Thank goodness there is also an "unlike" button. I hope she will also forgive my mistake.
  3. About 20 minutes ago, my son walked over to me and handed me a Tootsie Roll, asking me to open it for him. I did, and then out of habit I popped it right in my mouth instead of giving it back to him. He looked at me, confused about why I would do that to him. Luckily for him and for my hips (they're a little smallish... compared to a hippopotamus) we have vast amounts of candy left over from last week's Primary bribe, and I was able to supply a replacement Tootsie Roll right away.

P.S. My husband has a mission reunion tonight. Do you think I could lose 40 pounds by 6:30? Any tips?


Rebecca and Nick said...

Oh my goodness, that last one had me laughing especially hard! I can see myself doing something like that, then feeling so bad about it! So funny!

Anne Marie said...

Absolutely hilarious!

Debbie / Cranberry Fries said...

You're nice to actually give him a new one. I accidentally did that once and pulled it out of my mouth. :) ew.

Love the post!

valentine said...

srsly, i should never be allowed in society, i am forever doing small,stupid things like that.

Carrie said...

AH! You are so funny. I always forget to check your blog, but no fear. It is going on my 'favorites' right now!
I saw that you 'liked' monica's gall stones, which made me chuckle.
I knew you didn't mean her any harm ;)

Carrie said...

Oh- and if you did figure out how to drop 40 in mere hours, please clue me in on the secret. That could really come in handy.

millerandbrandi said... crack me up Emily! I wanted to lose 40 lbs. by my birthday...instead I have gained 5 lbs. and my birthday is next Saturday. Hmmmmmm.

artsy ann said...

I totally laughed out loud at #3, you could have just said thank you Charlie