On Tuesday night as my smart, adorable husband was on the brink of sleep, I remembered something.
"Hey hon..." I whispered. "This is a really bad time for me to mention this, but have you heard about that bad computer virus that's supposed to activate tomorrow?"
"Huh? Where did you hear about it?" he asked, sure that I had fallen for an April Fool's joke.
I told him I had heard about it on the radio and read more about it online.
"What's it supposed to do?" he asked, expecting me to have something smart to say, which I didn't. He's a database administrator, so any explanation I would have tried to give would have just sounded stupid.
So with 15 minutes remaining before the clock would turn over to April 1, I ran downstairs to find something smart to say.
Back upstairs: "It could turn our computer into a robot."
Dave hadn't heard anything about it, and since I'm obviously not to be trusted handling it on my own, we decided we would unplug the internet until he could get some sleep and learn more about it, and make sure our computer was safe.
(Reading more about it today I see that there wasn't a significant risk to us, but ANYway...)
So yesterday I had a whole day with no internet. Dave was thrilled with the idea. Maybe he expected to come home to a spotless house and a wife in a red and white polka-dotted dress holding a casserole.
Disconnected from the outside world, I took the opportunity to finally take care of something that's been on my to-do list for a good 15 years. I finally learned how to play FreeCell.
(This was after a few games of Minesweeper because, as you know, "Those mines aren't going to sweep themselves.")
When I won my first FreeCell game and it asked if I wanted to play again, with big eyes I said to my computer, "Um... yeah." Because my brain really liked it.
I knew I needed to catch up on housework, but I feared the precedent it would set. I knew Dave would think all he needed to do to have a good housefrau was unplug the internet every day before work.
But I decided to be a good frau and work on the house the rest of the day. And I really did get a lot done! And I learned that maybe I really do spend too much time on the computer, because I had so much free time when it was disconnected. Imagine all the things I could do! I could bake cookies and cakes for friends like my friend Jennika! I could go jogging like my friend Diana! (Baby steps. We'll start with walking.) I could teach scrapbooking classes like my friend Crystal! (After I learn to scrapbook, which I'm not really in the mood for.)
We decided that because I am not good at moderating myself and I actually enjoy doing those domestic things that good fräuleins do, that we would disconnect the internet every Tuesday and Thursday. Except for today, of course, because we just did it yesterday and two days in a row would probably send me into shock.
And, if you were wondering, I do not know where to plug in the internet cord (am I being too technical with terms like "internet cord"?), and I don't want to learn.