Thursday, November 6, 2008

Amateur Toddler Wrestling League

To join the Amateur Toddler Wrestling League, you don't have to be a toddler. You just have to be raising one.

(Wrestling a toddler in a day-care setting would be considered professional toddler wrestling, making one ineligible to wrestle in amateur leagues.)

I am climbing the ranks, inching closer to championship status every day. I've been perfecting my toddler wrestling skills for weeks, and by the time my son is potty trained I should be unbeatable.

It's a rigorous schedule. Sometimes 5 or 6 matches a day. Maybe more if my son has eaten a lot of grapes.

I think it's time to think about potty training.

My son will be two in a couple weeks. If you ask him, having his diaper changed is the absolute worst kind of torture. He has always hated being changed anywhere but home, but recently he's decided he's had enough of the whole thing.

So we're trying to prepare him for potty training. For instance, when he escapes from the bathtub, stops in his tracks and begins peeing on the floor, I calmly tell him, "You're peeing on the floor. You're going pee-pee on the floor. Next time you could go pee-pee in the toilet."

We're moving to a new house this month, so toddler wrestling will continue without potty training for a few weeks at least. In the meantime, I'm considering investing in some spandex and a tattoo so I look more intimidating.


Kristina P. said...

Good luck!!

wonder woman said...

If not tattoos, at least some really fearsome makeup. This tactic has worked quite well for me.

BOTH my boys became diaper change wrestlers around 2. How is that?! My favorite move is the leg wrap on toddler torso. Also the sitting on theirs legs (of course not with my full weight. I don't actually want to break them. Yet.)

I have yet to come up with totally tubular names for these moves.

jen said...

this is news to me that kids will stop and pee in the middle of the floor. huh.
good luck with the potty training!

Anne Marie said...

Hilarious! You're right. Changing the diapers of a toddler is downright exhausting! Good luck with potty-training. I'm in that group of lazy, relaxed mamas who waits until 3 1/2 and then just puts a pair of underwear on and tells them to pee in the potty (normally with a few bribes, the deed is done in a day or two). If you wait that long, you've of course created thousands more packets of waste to decompose over hundreds of years and burned hundreds of dollars...but by that age, they're much easier to teach.

artsy ann said...

I think you should dress like a luchador, like Nacho!